2002-12-02 - 4:39 p.m.

Detroit trip with Nami: Smooth like so much mayo. I was expecting some rough patches, what with all the new social permutations we were exposing ourselves to. But everything was worthy of giving thanks. Kevin's party on Saturday was great. Many "Oh, the things I've seen" moments, but that's to be expected, especially over the holidays. Matt Z. lost the 'stache but learned a heart-smart lesson of redemption and overcoming social stigma through modern razor technology.

In an office copy machine I found a page of a screenplay undoubtedly penned by some frustrated fellow workerbee. It's about a former film major quitting his suffocating job so he can work on a screenplay. As far as I can gather. My God.

I wonder if Found ever thought of branching into purloined office crap. Maybe that's too easy and depressing.

Anyway, here it be. Formatting's screwed up because I don't know how to center anything.

PAUL

I guess I should probably say a few words about my profession.

CUT TO

BLACK TITLE CARD

"Though crime is never presented as a true path to happiness, it is vastly preferable to the existential hell that is day to day working life."

Paul McCallister-Senior Thesis-Romanticism and Fatalism in Film Noir, 1999 Pg 29.

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INT-PAUL'S APARTMENT-DAY

Paul walks in the door, wearing the outfit he was wearing when he quit his job.

He sits on the floor and starts going through his bills with a calculator, pen, and paper.

PAUL (vo)

Around the time I decided the corporate world wasn't for me, I had saved up a little nest egg, hoping to upgrade apartments in the near future.

CUT TO

INT-PAUL'S APARTMENT-NIGHT

We see Paul at the stove boiling water in a pan.

PAUL (vo)

I had enough money to make it about 3 months provided that I was welling to make certain...lifestyle sacrifices.

A large stack of Ramen noodles are on the counter next to Paul. He picks one up off the top, opens it, and dumps it into the boiling water.

CUT TO

That's the page. This is why I don't write much for myself: I'd end up writing something like this, cuz you know, my life is just so damn interesting that people would want to read about a fictionalized version of MY LIFE. Not.