2002-02-04 - 6:24 p.m.

You know sometimes it's nice to get up really early in the morning and finish those New Yorker articles you've been meaning to read, do the dishes you've been piling for two days, and swipe off that silly mustachio and flavor saver that were intentionally (and comically) left on your face after a spur-of-the-moment shave the day before. But it would also be nice to get advance notice that from 4:45 a.m. on, you're done with that whole sleeping thing.

Ugh. I shouldn't complain, I know, because I usually have maybe oh, zero trouble sleeping at night. But when insomnia hits, it hits like bricks.

You start noticing the little things, like the fact that the empties on top of the microwave on top of the fridge rattle every time the refrigerator starts whirring. Also, the medium-sized things, like the pretty awful chronic pain in your right wrist that's almost definitely thanks to repetitive stress something-er-other. And you notice the big things, like that massive woofy dog that the crazy lady in apartment one likes to keep in the (ostensibly shared) courtyard in the middle of winter tied to a rail or a fence or something twenty-four sev. And then you get existential and sad. Then you try counting sheep until Ewe 62 refuses to budge and you lose interest. Then you get up, drain the main vein, and note that you do not have tummy trubs from the Superbowl shit-food fest and you're not sick and there's no reason on God's Green Earth why you should have to flop around frustrated for four hours (counting that 60 minutes it took to fall asleep). Then you start thinking about the story that you started in your little reporter's notebook on the subway yesterday and how it probably never will wind its way toward an ending, but oh, by the way, here's a really good plot twist that reminds you of something really painful and will keep your mind off peaceful things for that much longer. Then you actually do get up and think about why in the world you're getting on a bus to go to a corporate office in Jersey on such a beautiful day.

But ooh child, things just might get easier. You might have a date this week and you might not but there's definitely people to see and reasons to smile despite the increased load of work and stress.